I've worked at keeping friendships(albeit, on & off due to our disorder) with 2 schizophrenics. They wouldn't be offended by worked at since I'm pretty sure it is the same for them.
Having long ago thrown counterfeit social-politeness to the wind, while walking with one of them, I told him that I am both captivated-attracted to and repulsed by his day-to-day-life, thoughts, & behaviors. Some of it mirrors the worst of my life. Some(He hears many sinister voices,constantly. Though abusive, I hear just one distinct, conflicting/mocking voice intermittently now)may be a preemptive warning as to what is in store for me.
English being his second language he at first did not understand what I meant. Upon further explanation, he breathed a huge sigh of relief it seemed. ?? Ok...
"Yes, Yes. As for me, too," he said.
Then we laughingly decided we'd had the basics of this discussion before; we agreed it beared repeating.
True understanding.
What a wonderful support you must be to each other. While I can listen and comprehend and even empathize, I can never truly UNDERSTAND. It is a gift that you have people who can fully understand what you are dealing with.
ReplyDeleteI'll gladly take listening, comprehending & empathizing, any day. Thank you.
DeleteWhat Beth said ^ ^. I'm not sure there is anything really equal to being UNDERSTOOD. Nothing else of a really true nature can follow without it.
ReplyDeleteas long as we all keep working on that something, the outcome has got to be better than when we spiral and do nothing....glad to know you have someone that gets you like you get them. it does make all the difference in the world.
ReplyDeletexxalainxx
"As For Me Too." Great title as a book.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that it matters to the 4 of you, that you read this & try to understand, makes me feel less isolated, less other.
ReplyDelete"counterfeit social-politeness" has come to be such a...guessing game, hasn't it? Your authenticity is very refreshing, Mary, and I also commend not only mentioning the "work" aspect of friendship - but your commitment to it. Perhaps your recognition/acknowledgment of your response to him will thwart any precognition or threads of fate...while at the same time reinforcing the very thing that makes you appreciate and support each other. In the midst of a hurricane world - true understanding is so rare.
ReplyDeleteI also appreciate you & the oh-so-lyrical words on your blog. It takes me to a prettier place at times, even(as I've written to you)when you aren't in one. There's honesty..
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